Parenting schedules, by the numbers
Two schedules can give each parent exactly half the nights and still feel completely different to a child. The difference is in how often the children move, and how long they go without seeing each parent.
Four numbers worth knowing
Nights with each parent. Out of every fourteen. It is the number people usually negotiate over, and it says the least about how a schedule is lived.
Handovers. How many times in two weeks the children move between homes. More handovers mean shorter gaps, and more packing, travel and transitions.
Longest time away from each parent. The longest run of nights in a row the children spend away from one home. This is the number that changes most between schedules with the same split.
Nights a year. The two-week pattern averaged over a year. In some places child support formulas take overnights into account, and the rules for counting them differ.
Common schedules compared
Each strip is fourteen nights from a Monday: blue with the first parent, green with the second. The figures are worked out by the same code as the Parenting Schedule tool.
| Schedule | Nights each | Handovers | Longest away | In practice |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Alternating weeks | 7 / 7 | 2 | 7 / 7 | The fewest handovers, but a week apart from each parent at a time. |
| 2-2-3 | 7 / 7 | 6 | 3 / 3 | Short stretches with each parent, at the cost of frequent handovers. |
| 2-2-5-5 | 7 / 7 | 4 | 5 / 5 | Each parent has the same weekdays every week, and weekends alternate. |
| 3-4-4-3 | 7 / 7 | 4 | 4 / 4 | Longer blocks than 2-2-3, with the split shifting each week. |
| 5-2-2-5 | 7 / 7 | 4 | 5 / 5 | Five-night blocks with a short midweek stretch in between. |
| Every other weekend | 12 / 2 | 2 | 2 / 12 | One home during the week; the other parent has alternate Friday and Saturday nights. |
| Every other weekend and a midweek night | 10 / 4 | 6 | 2 / 6 | Adds a weekly Wednesday night so the gap is never a full week. |
Reading the table
Alternating weeks, 2-2-3, 2-2-5-5, 3-4-4-3 and 5-2-2-5 all split the nights evenly. What separates them is the trade between handovers and gaps: alternating weeks has two handovers and a full week away from each parent; 2-2-3 has six handovers and never more than three nights away.
Every other weekend gives one parent far fewer nights and, just as importantly, a gap of twelve nights in a row. Adding a single midweek night cuts that gap to six, at the cost of more handovers.
Beyond the two weeks
- Distance between homes decides whether frequent handovers are practical on school days.
- Ages and routines change what works, and many families revisit a schedule as children grow.
- Holidays, birthdays and school breaks usually sit on top of the regular pattern and are worth writing down separately.
- Where handovers happen — school or childcare can mean parents never need to meet.